Insecure? So Is Everyone Else.

I’ve had a handful of consults that have pulled up into the parking lot and left. I’ve also had a handful that have wanted to walkout right after they walked in.

All due to insecurities. They are real feelings and fears.

Do these voices sound familiar?…

“Everyone at the gym is skinny and In shape.”

“Everyone is looking at me.”

“I’m out of shape and everyone here is in shape, I don’t belong here.”

I could make a long list of insecurities and fears, but we get the point right? We all deal with these thoughts and feelings, some more than others. They can be crippling if they aren’t dealt with.

It’s not as easy as waiving a magic wand.

Women in my office usually tell me how they feel or I can tell and I ask some questions to get more out. Guys…well that’s another story. Guys will sit across from me leaning back with their arms crossed, visually uncomfortable, but they won’t say it.

So, how do you overcome these insecurities? I don’t have a clear cut answer, but I can tell you what has worked for me in the past. Being a former drug addict (15 years ago) I had to deal with a load of issues in small groups and with counselors.

I had to talk about it. I never had before. I then had to take action. Action for me was seeking out a lot of forgiveness from people I hurt.

I hated public speaking, but after giving my life to Christ and becoming sober I had a story to tell, and I had to tell it a lot. I didn’t like it and I still don’t. I recently shared at church in front of 30-40 teens and adults.

Was I nervous? You bet. I don’t like speaking in front of others, but what I have learned is that it doesn’t matter if I’m uncomfortable or if I don’t like doing it.

Character is built going against your feelings and insecurities. It gets easier the more you do it. The longer you avoid it the more difficult it becomes to take action.

We live in our head and that’s not a safe place a lot of the time. Am I right or am I right? Our feelings aren’t an accurate gauge of reality and if we live by our feelings we won’t ever overcome the obstacles we want so badly to overcome.

Here is a simple exercise to help overcome your insecurities. Do it daily for a month and see what happens:

  1. Write a gratitude list of 10 things you have to be thankful for.
  2. Write out 5 insecurities and 5 opposing truths. Example: Everyone is looking at me when I walk into the store (I used to deal with this) vs. people have their own problems and they aren’t concerned with me. Even if they are, who cares.
  3. A pro’s and con’s list. The pro’s of taking action and the con’s if you don’t take action.

-Coach Bryan

PS: If you need help getting started and working through some junk reach out and book a no sweat intro, I would love to help.

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