We are hardwired to point the finger at other people and life’s circumstances. It’s part of self preservation. When we don’t want to do things, we fail, want to quit, or things don’t go our way, it’s rarely our fault.
Personal responsibility is rare.
It’s rather convenient to blame someone else, work, kids sports, being tired, stressed out, finances, or being busy. We preserve ourselves only to sabotage ourselves in the long-run. Sometimes it happens right away and sometimes we don’t see the effects for months or years down the road.
This plays out in the gym all the time when people cancel their memberships. Rarely is a reason legitimate. Sure, at times it is, but if people were honest, like really honest, their reason for quitting isn’t the answer given.
How do I know? I do 90% of the consults and I read the cancellation emails. People are unhappy with themselves when they come into the gym. They have the time, financial resources, and they are ready to do something different at sign-up. Months later all of the sudden they can’t afford it, they are too busy, or something has come up.
The reasons are always the same: I don’t have the time/too busy or I cannot afford it.
Why do people quit on themselves and how can they prevent this from happening? That’s what we want right? To be successful long-term and not be a quitter again and again and again and again…. I think people want to be successful, but they aren’t doing a few things to prevent the old pattern from repeating itself.
Here are 3 things you can do to overcome and not quit next time:
- Take ownership of your past, present, and future. I recommend doing this with a coach. It takes quite a bit of humility to be able to do this, but it’s freeing. I’ve had a few athletes book athlete check ins and do this on their own. It’s pretty cool to hear them tell on themselves and ask for help. What they’re doing is taking responsibility for their failures, recommitting, and asking for help.
- Cancel your reservations. If you have a backdoor to quit if things don’t go your way, you will take it. Know how I know? Things aren’t going to go your way most days and weeks. You won’t always feel like it, you’ll be tired most days, you’ll be stressed out, the kids sports will seem to take over, and you’ll spend too much money and think you can’t afford it anymore. Tell on yourself to a coach. “This is what I have done in the past and I want you to hold me accountable if I do this again.” Accountability is the gift everyone asks for but seems to not want when it’s time to be held accountable (TIP).
- Get 1-1 attention in an area you need extra coaching such as nutrition, mobility, Olympic Weight-Lifting, Gymnastics, or mind-set. This is the best way in my opinion to stick with it longer. 1-1 coaching is relationship based and the deeper the relationships you have, the longer you stay somewhere or with something.
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